Insomnia, Ouija boards and Homework

 Hi there! Long time no see. A lot has happened recently, weddings, funerals, parties, family gatherings. Good news is I’ve made a new friend. Their name is ‘Ocean’ because I feel this word represents them well, for who they are.

I haven’t had much time to write lately, I mean my routine just consists of waking up, cooking (sometimes), studying, teaching, more independent studying, and then falling asleep whenever sleep comes.

I have a love-hate relationship with sleep, and that’s what we’re going to talk about today. Keep in mind that this topic came to mind spontaneously so I might not have that much to say about sleep. Research says that teenagers tend to sleep more than adults because they’re growing and sleep stimulates growth and fights off any harmful foreign bodies that attack us and make us sick.

Well you know what? Whoever said this deserves a smack in the face with a chair. Teenagers need sleep, yes, but most of us tend to work better in the ungodly hours of the night. And personally, SLEEP NEVER COMES!!!

I don’t like the process of going to sleep. Call me hyperaware but whenever I lie down to sleep I start hearing all kinds of sounds that would be normally muted out due to the environment. The ticking clock in the next room, the crying baby in the house next door, the muted talking from the street outside. Sometimes I can even hear the trucks on the road that connects to the highway, and that road is half a kilometer away from my house. Then I start to zone in on my bodily functions. I can feel my heart beat, I feel the faint movement of stuff in my body and it makes me sad because I just want to sleep.

And yes, people say ‘just close your eyes and think about other stuff’ or ‘just count backwards’ or ‘blink your eyes really fast’ or ‘try the military method’. No. Just no. None of it works. I even take sleeping pills and they don’t work. My doctor upped my dose from 0.5 to 2 milligram but did it work? Nope. Nada.

I don’t understand those kinds of people who just fall asleep after their head hits the pillow. How do they do it? Do they have a magic on/off button that helps them do this? Some people can just blink an eye and they’re asleep.

I notice how my mom sleeps as well. She seems like she’s asleep, and she sleeps very lightly, so even the tiniest noises wake her up. Meanwhile when we’re talking about night related stuff, lets talk about horror movies.

What’s up with horror movies? They aren’t scary anymore, nothing that truly frightens the soul out of you. These days the ghosts or the demons aren’t even properly depicted, usually unseen. I want to see SCARY SHOULS THAT HAUNT MY NIGHTMARES, not some tall lanky guy covered in black paint an cellophane.

The last movie I saw was Veronica. Apparently, the scariest movie on Netflix and you know what? I didn’t blink. Not even once. It was predictable, and some parts were boring. They used pitches to create the spooky effect, I know, but the thing that grasped me most was the childrens’ acting. Antonito’s final scene where he’s just plugged his ears and goes, ‘Vero, Vero, Vero’ like a minion. It was adorable. 

I admit, I have used an Ouija board before, and it was terrifying to see stuff go woosh woosh and the candles go out but it wasn’t as dramatic as they showed in the movie. Yes, like Veronica I tried to contact my dad (this was in 2017) and ended up saying goodbye because of vague answers. The Ouija board definitely works, that’s for sure, but I’m not going to answer any questions if asked. It was a personal experience and I intend to keep it that way.

(p.s.) I used that 4 ft by 3 ft ouija board as a headboard for my bed till 2020. People got so freaked out when they saw it but to me it was kind of comforting to have it there, even though I was terrified when I was using it. It got destroyed when we were moving furniture and it’s pieces were used to light a bonfire. RIP Ouija board, you were like a son to me.

Anyway back to the topic at hand. Horror movies aren’t scary, they’re just pointless and gory now. I’ve heard about some good ones like Rec. and It Follows but I still have them on my watch list. I swear to god, the last real horror I felt while watching a movie was while watching insidious 2 about 5 years ago.

I liked how Wrong Turn movies were categorized into horror when clearly they were thriller. I loved each and every gory bit; the mutated people in the plot were absolutely fantastic. I watched all 5 movies in a row, they were that interesting.

Another famous one is Final Destination. Don’t get me started on how bad, predictable, unscary it is. Yes, people die left right because they avoided death. They should’ve SHOWED us death following them! Like a ghoul following people, or them seeing creepy signs before their deaths or nightmares and not knowing they were about to die. A LITTLE suspense is all I asked for. If Final Destination was a food, it would be mashed potatoes with nothing added to them.

I watched another good movie which I won’t say was horror but is wrongly categorized under it. Orphan. I was interesting, with amazing character development and plot. The acting, the mastermind brain that little psychopath was such a turn on for my amygdala that I watched the whole thing in just one sitting. Usually I take a whole day to watch one movie but Orphan made me sit my butt down and watch it all in one go. I wish I could see that movie for the first time all over again.

Another thing, which is on the other side of the spectrum from what we were talking about, is; I treat my nights like I would spend my day. The best part is that I don’t have internet so I can spend my time productively. I use these 6 hours (12:00 am to 6:00 am). I use this time to read books, do homework and all kinds of stuff. Usually I study two subjects every night, so if you’re a night owl, like me, these tips might come handy for you.

Firstly, turn off all your goddamn devices. Wear a watch at night to keep track of time wherever you are (even in the bathroom, trust me). Take your phone, laptop, whatever and keep it locked in a drawer. Or keep your phone in another room and put it on silent. Just STAY AWAY FROM TECHNOLOGY OK? YOU WILL WASTE YOUR WHOLE 6 HOURS JUST SCROLLING THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA AND YOU DON’T WANT THAT.

I have a handy dandy alarm clock that is very very small with a very loud alarm. I carry it in my pocket wherever I go or keep it in front of me where I can see it at all times. At 12 am, I set a timer for 2 hours to work on one subject, and then I divide those two hours and spend 45 minutes revising a topic that I’ve already studied, making flash cards or reviewing notes. If I’ve done everything related to that subject and I have no homework, I read and annotate the next chapter I’m studying.

Look, call me study-holic (which I’m not, my mom is telling me to stop wasting time since the last three hours) but reading the chapter you’re going to study helps a LOT. When the teacher discusses it in class, you’re not sitting there dumb and being thwacked in the face with new concepts and terminology. I also try to understand the whole chapter on my own, and write down the questions on my book (it’s really messy, it looks like insects crawling on my books) and annotate on the whole chapter. It’s okay if I don’t understand something, because I’ll get that cleared up in the upcoming class.

The second 1.25 hours I spend doing past paper questions. Past papers are a holy grail that has been sent to students by God himself. Look even if you don’t want to study the whole chapter, just look at the past papers, and go to that specific topic and learn that topic by heart. Do those kinds of questions again and again until you’re confident that you can answer a question relating to that topic in any way, shape, or form. You won’t even realize by the time you’re done with one chapter worth of past papers, just skim over the chapter and you’ll find out that you already know the stuff.

Now, YouTube is the platform where you’ll find topics and chapters explained in the easy way, but it can also be deadly. Look, your book covers all the necessary topics that will be on the exam (or not, looking at you, physics A levels textbook). The web has a collection of data which relates to different level of information. You can find basics as well as PhD level stuff on the internet, maybe even all of it in one website, and it WILL muddle your brain. Instead, look at the web for the topic AFTER you understand it from the book. I know things can be hard most of the time, usually all the time, but for me visualizing the processes and phenomenon in 3D and use your imagination to make sense of it.

Take an hour gap between the 2 hour sessions. I’ve done it for so long that I can spend all 6 hours studying end to end, but this might be hard, especially for beginners. 2 hours of studying, then an hour of rest. DO NOT PICK UP ANY TECH DURING YOUR REST HOUR. Personally, I like making tattoos. I made my first one in 2019 and I still have it (I need to re-ink it because it’s fading) but it has been on my wrist for 4 years now. I like to paint pictures of plants. So far I’ve done Angel Trumpet, Calla Lily, Absinthe and another one which I can’t remember. I have this book called ‘the big bad book of botany’ and I usually take reference from there. Oh, and I’m in the middle of tattooing an Angel Trumpet on my forearm, but because I don’t have professional tools or ink, it’s taking me quite a bit of time to finish it.

Holy hell, I wrote almost 2000 words in one post. I’m sorry for such a long post but I’m writing after so long I just want to write and write until I spill the dam that’s filling up inside me. Anyway, I hope that one reader who always reads these as soon as I post is doing well. Take care and stay in school.

Love, Aurora