l e t t e r

 Writer’s note: Please do not assume who this letter is to. It could be my mom, my cat, it could be my dad, it could be my chef, my teacher, my students, my plant, my books, my pillow, my house, the rock on the street. I’ll be using gender-neutral terms for anonymity and to respect their gender preferences. I don’t have to explain my beliefs to you, so, here you go.

Dear Mx. X,

First of all, thank you for being born. You have no idea how much your existence means to me, and how you’ve become a rock for me to hold on to and get to safety. You are valuable, and precious, to me, if not to everyone else.

Every time I felt alone like there was no one around me and I was trapped in a sea of oblivion, I looked around and you were there. Every time I felt like the weight of life was crushing me down to bits, you gave all your strength to lift it up alongside me. Every time I felt pinned to a corner, unable to move out of fear and desperation, you took my hand and guided me out of pain.

You think you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not beautiful enough, and not precious enough for anyone to hold you and tell you that they love you, but I’m here to tell you that I love you. My life was uprooted and almost a dead tree when you planted it again with your bruised hands and watered it so I could start living again. It was almost the end when you gave me a new beginning and a new purpose.

And I can never be thankful enough for that.

You know what I love about you? Your selflessness; the way you put others before yourself and tend to their needs before yours. You deserve to be loved that way too. I love the way you would walk miles for a person who has nothing to give you in return. How you worry for their worries before yours. Don’t be afraid to let someone look out for you, don’t give in to fear.

Words are not enough to tell you how sorry I am, for what I’ve done and put you through against your will. If you’d carve my heart out you’d still hear it ask for forgiveness. And I’m ready to let you do that only if you’d forgive me.

Can we talk for a second about how pretty your eyelashes are? Every time I tell you ‘you’re beautiful’ you say no. Please don’t do that, it hurts me. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and to me you’re the most beautiful person I’ve seen. I like to think that you’re beautiful because of your heart. It is the purest, most fragile thing I’ve ever seen and I’d give up everything to protect it; because I love you.

Please don’t feel alone, or that you deserve to be alone. You don’t; you deserve to be loved and be happy, same as everyone else. I hope I see you reach your potential and please remember I’m very proud of you. Honestly, I’m so proud of you, love. You pulled through everything with nothing to hold on to. You tried to stand up for what you believed even though the circumstances were painfully unbearable. I’m so proud of the way you’re strong like that. Even if no one is, I’m proud of you.

Your personality is simply magnetic, the way you laugh, it honestly sounds like music. I like how your mouth curls a bit when you find something amusing, your eyebrow lifts a bit. Oh, also that little frown you do with a teeny tiny smile when you can’t fully understand something. Do you practice this in a mirror or something? It gets me every time.

No matter how awful my jokes are you always have the last word in them. Kind of like the other half of the sandwich. (ok this is making me tear up). I wouldn’t have learned what love is if it weren’t for you. Thank you once again.

I’m sorry I’m being emotional and corny but that’s just how I am and you know that better than anyone else. And even if you feel alone, even if you’re physically alone and afraid just find that little string in your heart (the string that connects you to home) and tug on it and I’ll be there. Pinky promise.

I love you; you’re my best friend and a part of me.

Signing off,
Aurora